What Her Story Teaches Us

About Longing For A Child

I’m just like Hannah. This wondrous woman in the Bible (1 Samuel 1-2) spends years longing for a child before miraculously conceiving. She is an inspiration, a source of hope and a puzzling figure all at once. I’ll get into why I’m like her in just a moment.

Hannah is a barren woman. Her husband’s other wife loves to spend her time flaunting her multitude of children right in Hannah’s face to incite jealousy. It’s clear from her behavior that this other baby mama (Peninah) has some serious insecurity issues. Hannah is full of grief and sadness from TTC (trying to conceive) with no success.

Other Things Don’t Satisfy the Longing for a Child

Hannah’s husband seems kind enough because he gives her a double portion when they go to the annual offering to the Lord, but he doesn’t understand Hannah’s great grief. He says, “Am I not better to you than 10 sons?” I mean……. cute thought.

I’m just like Hannah. I’ve experienced similar moments. I can imagine Hannah’s response: staring, blinking, mouth open in dismay. Thinking “Wow, he just doesn’t get it.”

People mean well, don’t they?

How many similar remarks have you heard when someone is trying to comfort you or distract you from longing for a child?

”At least you have a great job!”

“It would be so hard to do all that you’re doing now if you had children!”

Does that make us feel better? Noooope.

I’m just like Hannah. I have an absolute gem for a husband. But while our connection is wonderfully fulfilling, a sweet marriage doesn't satisfy the longing for children. That longing has always been there and only seems to get stronger over time. And, just like Hannah, I haven’t been able to conceive a child. I have spent years with that unfulfilled desire simultaneously unsatisfied by the things in life that could seem to “replace” it.

The Pain of Jealousy

Hannah’s moment of desperate grief came when her husband’s “other wife” had been taunting her. Have you ever felt taunted into grief and deep sadness in light of another’s circumstance? Maybe someone gets pregnant without trying and it’s a surprise to them.

“Whoops! Just accidentally conceived a human!”

“Sure, yeah, let’s have another child!” - finds out they’re pregnant 3 weeks later.

Sometimes I’m dumbfounded. How does that happen when my husband and I have tried for years with no success? Hannah watched as her husband’s other wife conceived child after child, while she endured monthly disappointment after disappointment. I’m just like Hannah when I’ve felt jealous for what other women have in their motherhood journeys. In the midst of longing for a child, someone else’s joy brings me pain. It’s such a dilemma when the one thing you want to do is to be elated for your friends, your sister or your cousin! This continual loss steals the joy and only brings continual defeat.

When God Is Your Only Option

In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”

1 Samuel 1:10-11

When Hannah had the opportunity she went to the temple and wept “in bitterness of soul.” How many times have I had those moments? I'm just like Hannah. I can’t count. Whether it’s another invitation to a baby shower of a close friend or discouraging news from the doctor, there have been a myriad of moments where the pain wells, the tears roll, Kleenex is my bestie and I’m left with a cry-headache and red swollen eyes when it’s over.

This was the moment Hannah poured out her heart before God and “wept in anguish.” It is this moment that Hannah surrendered her dream, her greatest desire to God. She told Him that if He gave her a child, she would give Him back to God. What is remarkable about Hannah is that she knew she could trust in God with her dream. She knew that in giving God her dream, He would care about it as much and even more than she did.

It seems Hannah’s only option of hope for a child was in God. And that, my friends, is the primary reason why I relate with Hannah. In this world we live in, some of us may have options to explore when we are dealing with infertility and longing for a child, and some of us feel we have no options and we are stuck in our situation. No matter what my options or lack thereof, my hope has found a solid place to land in God.

“No matter what my options or lack thereof, my hope has found a solid place to land in God.”

What Can We Learn from Hannah?

When I zoom out from the big picture surrounding Hannah and her place in history, it’s incredible to see that her sad story turned into the birth of a man who left a massive mark on a nation. Did Hannah have any idea that her prayer that night, her deal with God, would turn into the rise of a prophet who would anoint Israel’s first two kings?

Mostly likely not!

The fruit of Hannah’s trial was massive. Something so sad and difficult brought about such redemption that affected so many people, an entire nation. In her sadness and despair, her dedication to her God brought about something greater than she could’ve ever imagined. She had no clue of the greatness that was coming. I don’t even know if she could’ve realized in her lifetime, the impact of her surrendered dream.

Hannah’s story tells me one thing. It’s always worth it to trust God with your dreams, desires and devastating circumstances.

When we surrender our dreams into His hands He will redeem, He will more than restore, He will make immeasurably beautiful things out of our “yes” to Him.

I’m just like Hannah. I don’t know what my story looks like as it will play out in the generations after me, but I have a strong conviction that God is going to make immeasurably beautiful things out of my 16 years of longing for a child. I am convinced that the pain that I have experienced in these 16 years will be far outweighed by the story that will play out in generations of unfathomable redemption. That is the God I love and serve.

For more resources on how to process the pain of longing for a child, check out our tools page for help on the journey.

I Am Just Like Hannah